The Agency now had its first “deputy” in Kim “Foot Long” Wong! I went to a local uniform store to put an order in for new uniforms that will make Wong and I look like Police/Navy SEAL’s. Our uniforms are part black BDU, high gloss cavalry boots and “Smokey Bear” hats. How do we know these uniforms look awesome? Because yesterday morning after picking them up, we met at Wong’s (mom’s) house which serves as his Big Foot hunter headquarters and put on our new uniforms!
After getting suited up we jumped in Squad 1 and drove at high speed to the Whataburger downtown. I brought Squad 1 to a screeching halt, blue smoke and dust surrounding us in the drive thru lane. As I pulled up to the window to get my #2 meal and Wong’s hot tea and lettuce I threw my hat and mirrored sunglasses on. The server jumped back in awe and respect of us, then broke out in laughter at how professional we look in our new uniforms!
I threw Squad 1 into gear and tried to peel out in front of the server, but the engine died out after belching a plume of smoke and an ear shattering backfire. The backfire was so loud it startled Wong who spilled his hot tea all over his lap. “Oh…Damn…Sonofa….Cooked my…(some foriegn language)…Dog shit,” poor Wong yelled. I waited a few minutes as the Whataburger crew and several customers came out to celebrate our uniforms with cheering, laughing and clapping.
We discussed meeting at the pipeline and setting up a stakeout on Sasquatch who Wong says is hanging around the equipment. It is Wong’s belief that the creature is trying to figure out how to operate one of the bulldozers so he can possibly make some improvements on his home somewhere in the woods. I was not liking the idea of anyone stealing from a place under The Agency’s protection, “Well, we will see about that large-ass humanoid stealing any of the Forman’s stuff,” I barked.
We had been sitting in a small hunting blind borrowed from my uncle.
Night had fallen and there was a light wind blowing through the woods. So far the stakeout had been pretty boring. I snacked on Cheetos, string cheese and pretzels. Wong refused all my snacks, explaining that he choose to eat only very clean and traditional Asian foods and remain extremely pure like Bruce Lee. As he looked disgustedly at my snacks, a large snap echoed outside the blind. We froze and listened. Another crackling of breaking twigs. Seconds latter there was a strange rubbing sound, as if someone or something was scraping a rock against a tree.
I slowly opened the door of the hunting blind and we stepped outside. Something grunted just up ahead. I noticed that Wong was wearing his sandals rather than the cavalry boots I bought him. He complained that the boots hurt his feet and didn’t feel right to him. I pushed the anger over the sandals aside, we had something stalking us in the woods, in the dark!
Wong suggested we try to approach the creature from upwind so that he could not use his superior sense of smell. We moved in a tactical, SWAT like way around the woods and were only a few feet from the huge beast. For the first time I could smell him! A fear shot through me, I was close enough to smell Big Foot. Reaching down, I pulled out my tactical whistle and flashlight. If Sasquatch made a move he was going to get a combination ear blast/eye blast.
Wong put his hands up and pulled a few branches out of the way. Everything went into slow motion at this point and as he got his first glimpse at the creature behind the branches Wong screamed. I looked past Wong and when I saw it, my jaw dropped and a bolt of fear and disbelief reverberated through my body. A second later a blur of brown fur was moving in our direction…
The Agency Files 