Up ahead I heard poor Wong let out what can only be described as the high pitched scream of an eight year old Korean school girl. I tried to run by my groins hurt like hell from being forced into an unwilling splits position by that damn felony committing deer. Again, the suspect:
I saw something very alarming on the ground in front of me. For the first time in this whole sad affair I began to worry that we might have lost Wong.
This was getting bad. I never expected to find Wong’s pants like this. Something very ugly must have happened to my little buddy, all kinds of images began running through my mind. If I catch that furry bastard he just might end up becoming sausage.
I wasn’t quite sure what the hell I was actually looking at. I looked closer at the article on the ground and then the reality of it all hit me in the face. These were Wong’s underwear. I took off running…then ran back to take a second look at the very questionable underwear. They sure didn’t look like anything any man would wear. Standing and criticizing my deputies underwear choice was not my biggest concern at the moment, his life was.
Just up ahead on the small dirt path my eyes found Kim “Foot Long” Wong. He was mumbling all kinds of things.
“Wong, hey man, are you ok?” I asked. He didn’t look at me or acknowledge me at all. “The Deer made me naked.,” he mumbled, followed by “Call the rape crisis center…I’m glad the other reindeer made fun of Rudolph.” I took my windbreaker off and put it around him. Wong twitched as the black windbreaker with a gold eagle and cowboy pistol printed on it touched his stark naked body. Just so you know, the words The Agency are emblazoned on the jacket back and POLICE on the front.
Something snapped off in the distance. Wong yelled something that sounded like “Wackyyyy-Wooo-Ma-Chacky”. I tried to ask what that meant but he immediately snapped into a fetal position and started crying uncontrollably. I pulled out my i phone with a “tactical” black otter box and dialed 9-11.
A female dispatcher answered, “9-11, what is your emergency?” I lost control and yelled into the phone, “Officer down, OFFICER DOWN Dammit.”
The Agency Files 